I really hate that I don’t know where my ancestors come from. Okay, they come from Africa. But that’s an entire continent. There are so many different “countries” in Africa. (in quotes because they are called states) It bothers me a lot (though it shouldn’t) when my white friends ramble off all of the european countries their ancestry comes from or think they come from; “My family has French, German, Russian, and Irish”. It bothers me because my lineage can’t be traced in a simple manner. I don’t know whether my ancestors were from Nigeria, Egypt, South Africa, Libya, Ghana, etc. There’s nothing I can do about it, but it really gets to me sometimes. I’d feel weird just picking a few areas and claiming that that’s where I’m from, but I want to feel connected to something bigger. I’m kinda just feeling like a lost black person.
black = a person of African (and who knows what else) descent
And that’s the thing that REALLY annoys me is that I can trace my white lineage (because the white in my family was there by marriage, not by slave owners, at least on one side of the family), but everything else got fucked over. I just want to be able to say “I’m English, Irish, German, Ethiopian, Egyptian, and Kenyan.”
What bothers me is when people give me the side eye when I mention my white heritage because my skin is dark, my hair is coarse, my nose is broad, my lips are thick, and my body is thick. How dare they try to strip me of that ancestry? If a white person claims the same European ancestry that I claimed, no one gives them a second look, whether they have proof or not. But for some reason, they can’t see how I could ever possibly have European ancestors. I have issues because I’ve heard too many white people claim that 1/99th of Native American that they MIGHT have but they give me a side eye when I claim that 1/70th bit of white in me. (Not exact numbers, just trying to get at the fact that I have names for my white ancestors)
I guess I just needed to make a little rant. The thought about this came to my mind when I saw a tumblr pic saying “Nigerian and proud” and it made me a little sad inside because I can’t claim anything.